Life Cycle

My diary! My diary.

When I was young
I didn't know Id' just begun
to live a life so full
everything I did was fun
a red flag flapping at a bull.

  I am sixteen years old.
  I am a Gemini.
  I am pretty but I am something
  more than that.
  I want to be a great actress
  and a great writer.

  But we all fall in love
  and we disregard the danger
  though we share so many secrets
  there are some we never tell.

  Why are you so surprised
  did you ever let your lover see
  the stranger in yourself?

  Don't be afraid to try again
  everyone goes north and south
  every now and then, though

  slow down, you move too fast
  you have to make the morning last.
  Looking for fun and feeling groovy
  is something that can not last.

My spring! My spring.
I sparkled with enthusiasm and ideas
and thought about the coming years.
I'll travel, love, I'll live with kings
and fill my life with what it brings.

  City wakes. Sun comes up.
  Hurried breakfast. Feed the pup.
  Workers wake. Children dream.
  Tea or Coffee? Milk or cream?

  Say Good Morning. Say Good-bye.
  Quickly leave. Babies cry.
  Where's the train? Why the fuss?
  Never mind, catch a bus.

  Start some work. Have some coffee.
  File some papers. Check some toffee.
  Sign a cheque. Draw a plan.
  Build a house. Drive a van.

  Grab a sandwich. That's your lunch.
  Where's that file? Got a hunch.
  See the boss. Hope it's short.
  Might have known. Where is that report?

  Grab those plans. Feeling ill.
  Just my luck. Ink would spill!
  Where's my watch? Ten to four.
  Another letter. Maybe more.

  Off at last. First one through.
  Forgot my hat. Join the queue.
  Grab a taxi. Hurry past.
  Won't get booked for driving fast.

  Have some tea. Take my pills.
  Read the mail. Only bills!
  Have a beer. Watch the news.
  Take a shower. Clean my shoes.

  Read a book. Watch a show.
  Off to bed. Where else to go?
  Through the window, starlight peeps.
  I'm awake. The city sleeps.

  I am young enough to still see the
  passionate girl that I used to be.
  But right now I just want to take
  what I can.

  Get tonight
  while the night is still young.
  I want to keep making love to you.
  I would like to settle down.
  Get married.
  And may be have a child someday.

  I can see a time coming when I am going
  to throw my suitcase out.
  No more separations
  where you have to say goodnight to a telephone.
  I have decided that is not
  what this life is all about.

My summer! My summer.
Mum, guess what, it's Christmas in a month or two.
Ok, my darling, I'll get a tree just for you
and we'll cover it with sparking lights.
Now off to school though, take your bike.

  I don't want to go to school mum
  I'd rather stay at home with you mum.
  I'll sit here quiet on the stairs
  or I'll sit underneath the table
  scratching all the varnish off the chairs.

  I don't want to go to school mum
  when I could be underneath your feet.
  Or how about me doing a bit of painting?
  Or what about a bit of cutting out?
  Or sitting in the open bedroom window,
  body in and legs sticking out?
  Or what about us going up to the park mum?
  Or what about me making you a cake mum?
  Hey mum, hey, where we're going in such a hurry?
  Oh, mum! why - you are taking me to school, mum!

My autumn! My autumn.
The garden's neat, the house is clean.
What a hectic life it's been.
It's so nice to sit and read.
A cup of tea is what I need.

  Your children are not your children.
  They are the sons and daughters of
  Life's longing for itself.
  They come through you but not from you.
  And though they are with you
  yet they belong not to you.

  You may give them your love
  but not your thoughts.
  For they have their own thoughts.
  You may strive to be like them,
  but seek not to make them like you.
  For life goes not backward
  but tarries with yesterday.

My winter! My winter.
My knees are tight
my stumble slow.
But my eyes are bright
of that I know.
My needs are here.
My stick is handy.
I think I'll have
a nip of brandy.
My birthday soon.
They'll all be here.
Smiling faces.
Little hands.
The warmth, the cheer.

  Though knowest all; I cannot see.
  I trust I shall not live in vain.
  I know that we shall meet again
  in some divine eternity.

It is with great delight
I have to say.
My winter's gone.
I've passed away
and brought with me
a life time full
of doing what I thought was best.
And now
my friends,
I'll have a rest.

Compiled from lyrics and poems by: Geoff Cayzer, Kahlil Gibran The Prophet, Billy Joel The Stranger, The Night is Still Young, Pam Ayres I don't want to go to School Mum, John Cardiff* City Life, and other material. 

*RK Sadler, TAS Hayllar, CJ Powell. Enjoying Poetry. South Yarra: Macmillan Education Australia, 1981.